“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but as soon as I took that bread knife in hand, I knew that my basest desires would be unleashed. I have never felt this way about a piece of food before, but you made a million Prince songs go through my head, most of note ‘Do Me Baby.’ Now, I know that it is an inappropriate song to be shared between a comestible and a woman, but the heart wants what it wants, and you had to be devoured. Please know that it was worth every crumb….”