In an open letter to the man with the Morris Day hair,

“I couldn’t help myself. Your hair caught my eye early this morning. I didn’t want to be all obvious about getting a closer look. I’m afraid that this made me behave in a creepy fashion, inching my car slowly forward and looking at you not by turning my head, but by sliding my eyes over in your direction. You caught me anyway. Now I wish I had just taken a good head-on look. Maybe next time.”