This is not a 100-level discussion of how to eat your feelings. At 100-level, the whole matter is solved with the help of something sugary that comes in a bottle, something salty that comes in a bag, and something sweet that you just may be eating straight from the pan. This is a level or two above that.
The first step to eating your feelings is to get upset about something. It doesn’t even have to be something that is actually that upsetting. In fact, this even works if you know the whole time that you’re getting upset that you’re being entirely irrational.
The next thing is to accept that you are about to eat your feelings. Now, for some of you, this might be enough for you to snap out of it. But if this need arises on a day you’re unable to snap out of it, move on to the next step.
Decide that you’re going to eat something really good. Go ahead, cook something. If you’re going to eat your feelings, you might as well eat something that you’re pretty sure was tasty, even after you’ve eaten it.
Don’t cheap out.
You don’t have to break the bank, but just don’t cheap out. Say, for example, you’re going to bury your feelings in some nachos. In this case, buy some nice chips. Put some meat on there. Heck, go ahead and put some shrimp on it.
Yes, shrimp is nice. You’ll respect yourself more later than if you sucked in a bag of kettle cooked something or other.
Arrange your nachos artfully. Don’t just put lettuce and tomatoes on there. You want colors. Chop up some radish, some orange bell peppers. Garnish the thing with cilantro. You want to see a party on your plate. Now, move on to the next step.
Skip the plate.
You’re home alone. No one’s going to know.
Use your hands. Get in there.
Enjoy every bite.
Then step back and feel not better. Eating your feelings never really makes you feel much better.
Step away from the pan of nachos.
Brush your teeth and be glad that you left those flamin’ hot thingamadoodles alone.