“You were driving behind me. I noticed you in my rear view mirror. As I stared at you, I think that you felt the heat of my gaze. I think it made you uncomfortable. That is the most sympathetic reason I can use to justify the way that you began to attack your nose. Your finger was so far up your nostril that your entire nose moved around as you dug in there. I remained impressed with how much of your finger you were able to cram up there. Because of your resemblance to Joey B., I wanted to get out of my car and offer you some of my tissues. However, that would have just been weird and I have to draw the line somewhere….”