In an open letter to the woman wearing the short-sleeved sweater,

“It was probably about 6 weeks ago when I saw you. I don’t know whether I was hypnotized, mesmerized, or generally confused. Short sleeved sweaters always confuse me. Yours threw in an additional twist because of the mohair-like texture. When I took a closer look, I saw that your sweater was see through. When I looked again, I noticed that you were wearing nary a bra. When I looked another time, that’s when things got interesting. The only conclusion that I am able to reach is that you had engineered your strut so as to achieve maximum bounce. Do yo’ thang, I guess. Oh, and also, you like fresh air. If your aim was to be remembered, nicely done….”

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