In an open letter to the high school teacher who once said to/asked of me, “You don’t do that Lil’ Kim stuff, do you?”

“Gross. I think that you were making an allusion to the rumor circulating during that time that Lil’ Kim had her stomach pumped for, uh, let’s just say, big girl reasons. But, I could be wrong; I’ve never been great at putting together these sorts of things. What I do know is that your question made me sweat. A lot. As in more than usual. And during those particular years, I was a perpetual sweaty mess. Again, gross.”

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