“We’ve had some good times together. You, sweet jeans, have given me the kind generosity a girl like me needs in the thigh region. Alas, the thighs have taken their toll, and you are now sporting a hole in the upper inner thigh region. It is best for your reputation and for mine for you to be retired now. I appreciate everything that you have done for me, and my thighs, and my butt, and my ankles. You were long enough for me. I’ll miss you…”