“My face? Twice?!? I know it doesn’t make sense to curse at a mosquito, but my face? Twice?!?”
Author: sherlonya
In an open letter to the woman in stretchy pants,
“I simply did not understand the physics of your pants. They didn’t appear to be shifting around. In fact, they seemed rather snug. The exception, though, was the crotch baggies. I just don’t understand how your pants could be so tight, yet so loose. Is there a class on this for which I can register?”
Like goldfish crackers
Like okra
In an open letter to her son,
“Dude, today I heard you snapping as music played…and let’s just say this; it is intentional that I did not describe it as snapping to the music. How is this possible? You were weirdly early, sporadically. I never understand this in people. The beat is so audible, so predictable, so hard to snap/dance/move against….”
Like a macaron
In an open letter to past or present neighbors of Ronald Isley,
“I shouldn’t even be saying this, but I am dying to know what kind of noises come from this man’s home when he has a little nighttime company. Forgive me. But, I bet you’ve wondered, too. I bet you’ve listened. I bet you can give me answers.”