In an open letter to Kool and the Gang,

“Today, I ruined your song ‘Fresh’ for myself. You see, you describe someone as ‘fresh as a summer breeze.’ Clearly, whoever wrote this song did not frequent democratic gathering spots such as a bus stop or the Secretary of State office. At these places, the summer breeze can be anything but ‘fresh’….

In an open letter to Maury Povich,

“Maury, it has to be said, you are looking pretty good for a man your age. Seriously, for someone born during World War II, you are in good shape, you have a lot of hair, and you seem to have a fair amount of vigor. Maybe there’s something about being around paternity cases day after […]