“I simply did not understand the physics of your pants. They didn’t appear to be shifting around. In fact, they seemed rather snug. The exception, though, was the crotch baggies. I just don’t understand how your pants could be so tight, yet so loose. Is there a class on this for which I can register?”
Tag: bodies
In an open letter to her self-control,
“Because of you, I did not take a picture of the hairy, exposed butt crack that was in front of me for an extended period of time. I glanced down at it several times and wondered if the reddish patch on it was red because of scratching, but I didn’t take a picture, despite having […]
In an open letter to herself upon the occasion of the 500th open letter,
“I can’t believe you’ve been doing this for a few years now. Who knew it would go on this long? This whole thing, after all, started as a fling. But what is wrong with you? You are going to lead people to believe that you do nothing but stare at people’s bodies. You do more […]
In an open letter to another girl wearing microscopic shorts,
“You definitely have the body for short shorts. I’ll give you that. But, honey, your butt is so flat that at first I couldn’t tell I was looking at a butt cheek. I thought I was looking at a wrinkle. Another inch on those shorts and your business wouldn’t be all our in the streets….”
Maybe a Potato?
It started somewhat innocently. I was thinking about one of those articles that tells you what to wear, or what exercises to do based on your body type. I’m used to seeing apple, pear, and sometimes chili pepper as the options in these types of article…
In an open letter to an a warm spring day,
“Thank you for visiting us. It is always nice to feel warm sun on your skin. It is also a relief to see a sea of wintertime bodies in springtime clothes. It brightens things!”